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A Reader Reponse to Perfectionism

    After sharing my blog Perfectionism: Our Worst Enemy in Sight Reading with my friend Jesse, he responded that it triggered memories of band from his middle and high school years. Although he is not a pianist, many of the concerns he mentioned are relatable for all musicians who sight read music.  

 From Jesse:

 "Whenever we would prepare for region my biggest fear was sight reading. It would look strange because sometimes it felt like when I would look at the music I couldn't read it, but when I was told to start I would automatically play as if I was on autopilot or something. I was so nervous and I made a few mistakes, but I kept going until the end. In our bass clarinet section there were 5 of us. There were 2 of us in Honors Wind, 2 with Symphonic and 1 in Concert band. We had to audition each year to be sorted into our respective band/director. We were given 2 selections to practice at the beginning of marching band. We had to practice on our own time. Once marching band was over we all had our audition dates. We had to play the 2 selections we had months to practice and we had to sight read. I wasn't particularly good at sight reading, but good enough to be a part of the Honors Winds. This girl that made it to H.W along with me hated my guts. We never saw eye to eye and we always clashed with each other. She was close friends with another bass clarinet player in the symphonic band and would always try to challenge me to take my place in the H.W. but would always fail. The Honors Winds were the "best of the best" so sometimes members from our concert and symphonic would challenge members on the H.W. as a way to keep us sharp and rehearsed. We only had a certain window of time to issue these challenges and after window was closed that was it. We were in our respective houses (band term). This bass clarinet player would challenge me so often, but she never improved  as it was all out of spite. Hearing them laughing outside the door when I messed up during sight reading during out district meet stung, but I kept going and finished. The awful part was that I was the first one to go. Waiting for the results was agony, but I actually made first chair. Reading your recent blog reminded me of how anxious I would get sight reading."

     Two points Jesse brings up are worth mentioning. The first one is how important it is in sight reading to keep going despite making mistakes. In all likelihood, the judges heard a fluent sight reading undeterred by mistakes and this factor may have contributed in Jesse receiving a high rating. The next point to make is how perfectionism breeds anxiety especially in performance situations. In sight reading in front of others, you are put on the spot and not being able to practice beforehand often causes people to feel insecure. One way to reduce anxiety with sight reading is to do frequent ensemble practice where sight reading is required. The more you sight read in front of others, the more exposure and comfortable you with feel in sight reading situations. This advice is especially important to pianists who more isolated than other musicians by the solo nature of the instrument. 

Stay tuned,

Robert

 


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